Thursday, March 31, 2011

Craig, a loving brother

I have avoided writing this post because I know it will be emotional, but it is now a part of my life.  My brother passed away March 22.  My dad called to tell me the terrible news.  It is a phone call I will never forget.  Craig was just 2 years younger than me, my sibling closest in age.  We had so much fun growing up together.  He set up my first email account back in 2000, when I had no clue had to use the internet.  He would burn CD's for me and I thought it was so cool I could choose the playlist.  In high school he would come on dates with my girlfriends and I.  He was so much fun to talk to; he knew something about everything.  I could call and ask him questions about politics, health, computers, whatever..he always had something to say about it.  He was juvenile diabetic so when I had gestational diabetes he was the first person I called.  During the 12 weeks I had it, I called him regularly to ask him what I should eat, what to do when my blood sugar got too high, etc.  I will forever miss him, but the memories will live on forever.

This was when we went to Hawaii

Dennis and Craig in the elevator on our Hawaii cruise.

I have experienced a wide of emotions during the last 10 days, anywhere from disbelief, saddness, thinking I couldn't get through this, comfort, peace, guilt, hysterical sobbing, the list goes on and on.  This has been the hardest thing in my life.  However, at the same time I have never felt so much love and comfort from our Savior.  I know that I will see Craig again and that my family will be reunited together.  I know that our Savior loves us and brings us the comfort and peace we need during the most trying times.  This does not mean I don't have my moments where I sob thinking I can't live without my brother, but I know he is close around me.  Every morning it is a challenge to get out of bed as I am reminded that my brother is longer on this earth.  But I know that I can work through this and I have family and friends who love and support me.

12 comments:

aisy said...

Very beautiful Penny. There is a lot of peace knowing there is life after death... and that you will have all those talks again one day! xoxox

Unknown said...

You are amazing Penny!

Joey Rachel Avery & Ansley said...

Beautiful! You are such a strong individual and how sweet of you to share those intimate thoughts. Your sweet words inspire and touch many:) Craig will be greatly missed but what a sweet reunion it will be in the hereafter:)

I want to be like you when I grow up! Love you so much!!!

Rachel Durazzani said...

Such amazing words. I can only imagine the pain you have felt, and are still feeling. Your testimony and your strength are inspiring. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. We love you so much.

Carrie & Dustin Nicholes said...

Penny, you're such a good example to me. I love your honesty and your ability to have such a great perspective in a difficult time. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope to see you soon!

Cat and Blake Potter said...

i love you penny and thank you for such a powerful testimony.

Ashley said...

What a loving tribute. I'm so sorry for your loss, Penny. I can't imagine losing a family member. I am glad you have felt love and support during this hard time.

Rosanne Boyd said...

You are such a sweet and strong person. Thanks for sharing. We love you and your family so much!

kachers said...

oh Penny. i am so sorry to hear this sad news, and to think of your and your family's loss. that was touching to read your words about your brother, and your testimony. know that we love you guys so much, and we are thinking of and praying for you guys over here. you are amazing

Suzette Selden said...

Love you bunches Penny.

Lana said...

I'm so sorry for what you and your family are going through. You're in our prayers Penny.

Line said...

I'm so so sorry for your loss penny! Your testimony is beautiful, thanks for sharing. Thank goodness for the plan of happiness! :)