It's been a year

Sometimes I wonder where the time goes.  It's been a year since my brother, Craig, passed away.  I still remember what I was wearing, where I was standing, and my plans for the evening when I got that phone call from my dad that changed my life forever.  This past year has not been easy.  There were mornings over the summer where I would lay in bed and cry; Izzy would come lay with me and say, "What's wrong Mommy? I love you."  I remember going to Disney World a few weeks after and all the workers saying, "have a magical day."  I wanted to yell and scream at them that nothing was magical about my life or my day.  I hated the question at the grocery store or gym, "How's your day?"  I just wanted to say terrible, thanks for asking.  But somehow you manage to get through those days.  I often hear the saying time heals all wounds.  I disagree.  I think that with time I have learned that I can be happy again and that life will be good again.  But I don't think time simply passing makes things better.  I think it takes work and effort to better understand yourself, your situation, and so much more. I will always miss my brother.  There are days when I think everything is going great and then something reminds me of him and I start to cry and I'm ok with that.  I have learned a lot about myself over the past year, I have learned a lot about the gospel, the Atonement, and so much more.  I am grateful for the things which I have learned and the person I am becoming. 

Dennis and Craig in Hawaii.  A few years ago my family took a cruise to Hawaii for Christmas.  It was so fun to all be together.

Craig, Dennis, Mike, and I went mudbugging in Kauai.  I love this picture of Craig and I.  I have it in my room on my dresser.

When I was pregnant with Izzy my whole family went to our cabin in Montana.  Rarely do we all go there together.  This was right before Craig started med school and I think he was only there for 36 hours because he had to get back for school, but he still made the effort to be with the family.  He always took any opportunity to be with the fam.

Craig holding Izzy at Christmas.  I always teased him that he should not be a pediatrician because babies were not his speciality.  I love his fiance, Lindsey, sitting beside him.  She is the best person ever-so caring and kind.  

I miss him so much and think about him everyday!  I love you Craig!!